I have a bad habit of bingeing a TV show and getting obsessed, and it takes up a lot of my mind space. I am also a huge fan of kids’ animated shows. So my recent obsession is Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. And besides just being a really fun, well-written, and deep show, I have come to notice that this show deals a lot with trauma and how people react to trauma differently. As someone who is a mental health and trauma counselor, I cannot help but be excited about how well this show handles trauma and the implications for using it to talk about trauma with kids or even adults. So, I am going to explore the different responses to trauma I have seen thus far in my viewing of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure (I just started season 3 for those who have seen the show).Hopefully, I can keep this spoiler-free.
Please, please like me and be my best friend!
We see this a lot with our main character, Rapunzel. She tries so hard to be best friends with everyone, and cannot handle it if someone doesn’t like her. She goes to great lengths, more than is reasonable, to get people to like her, especially towards those who don’t immediately like her. She cannot cope with people not liking her, and it is something she regularly has to learn to deal with. People-pleasing is a common response for those with childhood trauma involving parents, especially emotional trauma. They have spent their childhood trying to please their parents to no avail, which shapes how they learn to interact with the world around them.
Anger is easier than fear
One of the characters in Tangled reacts to their trauma with a lot of anger. They lash out at those whom they blame for their circumstance, even if it was not that person’s fault that the event happened. When once they were a sweet, kind character, after the trauma, they become completely different. They are angry and resentful, and they lash out at everyone, even those who want to help them. Anger is a very common emotional response to trauma. Being angry that it happened, needing to find someone to blame, even if it’s not rational. Sometimes responding with anger is easier than admitting you are afraid and asking for help.
Please don’t talk to me, I want to be alone
Another character becomes like a turtle. They do not want to, or rather can’t, talk about what they are feeling. They refuse to let anyone in and choose to isolate. And no, sadly, building a kingdom of isolation is not healthy (I’m looking at you, Elsa). Building a strong shell to hide in or raising walls to not let anyone in can feel like safety, but it does not offer the ability to heal from and resolve the trauma. It is easy to raise your defenses; it is hard to be vulnerable and heal.
Please laugh and look at me
This kind of goes back to our first response of needing people to like you. We all know from the movie and the show that Eugene is a funny, dramatic person. And that can be a trauma response. Belittling or joking about your trauma for some can make it easier to handle. But it can run the risk of sugar-coating the experience and not confronting what happened and processing your feelings.
I have been wronged, and I deserve payment
We see this a few times in Tangled, with our villains feeling they need revenge or restitution for what has happened to them. We also see it in two little orphan thieves, who think that because society has abandoned them, they are absolved from their crimes. It is common to feel wronged and to feel that you deserve revenge or payment for being wronged. But as is often the case, getting revenge and restitution does not erase the pain or make things better.
Nothing is wrong; I have everything under control
Responding with denial or overcontrol is a defense mechanism. If I deny that anything happened or that it wasn’t that bad, then I don’t have to face it and confront my feelings about it. Likewise, when faced with a traumatic event, a person can feel completely out of control. It makes sense then that afterwards, a person would respond with wanting to control everything and everyone. I was out of control in this instance, so now I must maintain control at all times. We see this a few times in Rapunzel’s dad. We see him want to control Rapunzel and want to protect her at all costs because of the trauma of her kidnapping. We also see him deny or belittle a problem in the kingdom that is very serious. But no spoilers about that!
I can’t remember what happened
In Tangled, one of the characters relives a memory they had forgotten that was tragic and traumatic. The remembrance greatly changes them and influences their future actions. Repressing or forgetting aspects of a trauma is common. This has to do with how trauma is processed in the brain, and it is a biological defense. It is common for trauma survivors to remember some things but not others of the traumatic event. This is something I wish and hope that law enforcement officers understand. Just because a survivor cannot give you every detail does not mean it did not happen or that they are making it up. It is a biological response and the brain’s attempt to process what has happened.
Conclusion
These are just my observations on both trauma responses and Tangled. I’m not an expert on tv analysis, but I do know trauma and abuse. I hope that these observations can help someone understand trauma better in some small way, and offer yourself and others grace in how you/they have responded to trauma. And ultimately, I hope this has convinced you to watch this beautiful, well-written, and fun show. Because it’s great and I love it. It’s not just for kids!